Being Yourself + Quotes to Live By #3

Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.
coco Chanel

Authenticity. Being yourself. It is a rare thing. We live in a very curated society. Everyone is very careful to share only the best parts of themselves, carefully blurring the parts they want hidden. The problem with that is we have lost touch with what it means to be real. We have lost honesty. And with that we have lost beauty.

I am no better. My whole life has been one great act of curating myself to avoid notice. Each step carefully avoiding toes. Each movement purposeful enough to keep the boat from rocking. When that proved to be too much, I retreated into myself. It became easier to choose solitude over pretending. It was easier to build walls. My real self rarely shines through in real world.

This blog provides me with enough anonymity that I can be myself. Honest insights are easier to share here, safely being my computer screen, than in real conversation with most people. Why should that be? Why live a life so guarded?

I am learning to let my guard down little by little. To step out of my comfort of solitude and into my own beauty.

Being Yourself…Easier Said Than Done

Honestly, it is a tough thing to do…being yourself. Letting your flaws shine through a perfect exterior. I suppose that is something to come with age. As I approach 40, my grey hair unhidden, my smile (and frown) lines more prominent than ever, I can appreciate my physical flaws more than I used to. I feel as though my physical age and spiritual age are catching up to each other and I can find comfort in maturity.

Giving myself the same grace when it comes to my personality on the other hand has been harder. I strived for perfection where I could. I was never going to fit into society’s definition of perfection when it came to looks, with my uneven skin tone and a dress size that ranged from 12 to 22 (never less than that). But where I could be perfect was in the things I did. I tried to be the perfect housewife, the perfect homeschool mom, the perfect rule follower. And when perfection fell short (as it was bound to) I claimed the title “failure”.

But enough was enough. I decided I needed to let go of trying to be “perfect” because “perfect” is not a synonym for “happy”. So, I am choosing happy. I am choosing beauty. I am choosing to recognize how being myself, not some made up idea of who I am supposed to be, is the only path to peace, happiness and the life I always wanted.