My Path to Slow Living
For a long time I felt if I wasn’t doing something productive I was wasting time. What was the point of living if I wasn’t busy? I felt incredible guilt. Guilt for wasting my potential. Guilt for not earning an income while being a stay at home mom. And then again, guilt when I did return to working outside of the home for not having the time and energy to do all the things I was “supposed to” do. I made my to do list so long and unmanageable that I began to cope with unhealthy “relaxing” habits like drinking too much alcohol and over eating. It all came to a head before Christmas 2023 when my body couldn’t take it anymore and I ended up in the ER.
As the year ended and a new one began, I vowed things would change. I was going to release the guilt of not doing what I was “supposed to do” and start focusing on what I needed. And what I needed was to start actually living for me not for my to do list. I wanted to recoup time to be able to pause between tasks. The need to actually rediscover who I was. And I wanted to begin appreciating the tasks that make living possible like cooking and cleaning rather than feeling angry or overwhelmed at what I “had to do” as a wife and mother.
Enter slow living.
If this sounds like you, and you would like to start bringing slow living practices into your daily routine I have assembled this guide to get you started.
8 Steps to Slow Living
Reframe What Living Means to You
The very first step is to begin journaling. Journaling allows you to slow down and think about your feelings, goals, and dreams. There is something about writing things down that unleashes things inside of you. It’s like it filters your thoughts into something clear. This is where you begin to discover what you are looking for out of life. You can read more about developing a journaling habit here.
Consider this: What is important to you? Are you making time to appreciate the things you value? Do you even really know what your values are? What takes up most of your time? Does it align with your values?
Reclaim Old Mealtime Rituals
Remember when sitting down at the dinner table was a non-negotiable every night when you were growing up? The overscheduling of our lives has made us forget just how much we are missing by not pausing to eat our meals together. We have missed out on our connection to the people we love and the food we are eating. When was the last time you actually thought about how something tasted? Or had a real conversation with your family?
Find a time of the day you can stop and eat with intention. If you can’t do this with the people you care about, at least take the time to sit down and eat without the distraction of your phone or TV. Set the table. Be intentional about your food choices. Taste your food. And then, tidy up. All while focusing on the moment.
Remove Your Screens
Yes, I know. It is difficult to be away from your phone or computer much of the time. That is just the way life is today. But that doesn’t mean it has to be a part of our every waking moment. Be intentional about finding some time away from your devices. Here are a few ideas:
- Take a walk and “forget” phone
- Charge your phone in another room while spending time with your family
- Create strict work vs life boundaries
- Turn off the TV and play cards or a board game
- Read a real book, (you know, one made of paper)
- Cook a recipe from a cookbook, magazine, or your mom’s recipe box
- Learn a new screen-free hobby from a book you borrowed from the library
It is funny how much our life has changed in the last 20 years. It is time to remind ourselves of what life was like before we became attached to our smartphone.
Rediscover Music
For me, rediscovering a love of jazz and reggae music has become an important part of my relaxation routine. For years, I didn’t even know what type of music I liked anymore, just defaulting to whatever was on the radio. So, as a part of my journey, I have been intentional about finding music I actually like. It doesn’t matter if it is popular, who sings it, or the genre (I am alone in my tastes here at my house) if I like it I like it. I have created playlists for different moods but all of it tends to have a slower pace with lyrics that make me feel something.
Reconnect with Nature
There is no wonder we are so disconnected with the Earth when we are hunkered down inside all the time. We work indoors, spend most of our days indoors, and have become accustomed to only being outside on the most beautiful of days. It does take some effort to make time for nature. It is easier to blame our to do list for keeping us inside all the time. But find some ways to get outdoors, even if it is only on your front porch. Listen to the birds, smell the flowers on the breeze, and allow the pace of nature show you the way to slowing down.
Revise your To Do List
Be as ruthless or gentle as you want. Cut out as much or as little as you feel you need to at the moment. Those tasks will be there when you are ready. For me, I chose to just focus on what was time sensitive and necessary (I mean, I had to pay the bills to keep the lights on) but everything else could wait. So, if you don’t want to fold the laundry, don’t fold the laundry. Dreading the party, don’t attend that party. Just do the things you want for a while. Then, slowly add things back in or cut more out but ask yourself “Does this help me live the life I want or hinder me?”
I promise you, you will do those boring things that are important because you will begin to look at them not as an obligation but as something you want to do for you. When you feel you “have to do laundry” it is a chore but when you can shift your mindset to “I enjoy having freshly washed sheets” it becomes something enjoyable.
Return to the Living
While you go about the day, be mindful of what things distract you from being present in the moment. Is it your phone? Stresses you can’t get off your mind? A feeling of busyness? Once you discover you are distracted from the present, pause and come back to the moment. Focus on the sounds, the smells, and the sights around you. Focus on your breathing. Ground yourself in that place and time.
Revisit an Old Hobby
Consider what you liked to do before technology played a major role in your life. For a lot of us, those childhood experiences are some of our fondest memories. Revisit these hobbies or find a new form of play. Perhaps it is arts and crafts, sports, fishing or digging in the dirt, find a way to allow those forms of play back into your life.
What Slow Living Means to You
Everybody’s journey is different. What started me on my path will be different than yours. If there is only one thing you take away from this post let it be this: Take it slow. Make small changes. And move at a pace that feels right for you. After all this all about returning to yourself, in your place, at your time.
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